The Monte Cristo

[ Monte Cristo + Baked Chips = The Perfect Lunch ]

~ Original Recipe ~

Monte Cristo. One day, a genius of epic proportion said "If only someone took a ham and cheese sandwich and combined it with French toast." And moments later an amazing piece of culinary heaven was born. Ok, I don't really know if that's how this sandwich was created, but it seems like it would be pretty accurate. Just leaving out all those little inconsequential details that no one pays attention to anyway. The point is, the deep-fried-sugar-dusted-jam-topped plate of awesomeness, the Monte Cristo, satisfies both your sweet and savory cravings as well as gives you a healthy dose of calories and fat.

Traditionally, you start with a piece of bread. You top it with ham, cheese, and another piece of bread. Then you dunk the ham and cheese sandwich in egg and put it into a deep frier until it is golden and delicious. So. Good. To finish, you dust it with a little powdered sugar and serve it with a side of jam. I would like you to know that I gained 3 1/2 lbs just typing that description. And I did it for you. Happy now? So in a hungry act of defiance, I set out to create a monte cristo that didn't warm my heart by padding it with a hearty layer of artery-thickening love. Here's the recipe:

Chocolate (Pudding) Cake

[ Chocolate Strawberry Pudding Cake ]

~ Recipe Inspired by Hornets Nest Cake on BookCooking.Net ~

Cake. You don't even care where I go with this post, do you? I had you at that first word, didn't I. You're now jumping right to the recipe, as you have with so many other "baking" recipes, in the hope that there won't be some daunting list of ingredients that require hundreds of dollars worth of baking equipment that you don't own. And even if you did find a recipe that didn't involve that overly expensive stand mixer, you just know you'll have to buy all kinds of obscure baking ingredients, only to have the cake turn out NOTHING like you imagined it would be. There's a reason I don't bake, folks. That, and I seem to find myself feeling overwhelming obligated to destroy the evidence... into my belly... before it's cooled. Stop judging me!

However, birthdays happen. So do barbeques. Sometimes on the same weekend (yes, I just rolled my eyes... lovingly of course... or something like that). So what do you do when you find yourself hosting a barbeque where the Mr's best friend's birthday will be celebrated and you don't want to buy a cake? You fake it! (*evil giggle followed by mischievous smile*) And then you share the ingeniously created concoction with your closest friends (a.k.a. you) so that they too can benefit from such an awesomely easy and equipment-free recipe. The best part - there's only 5 ingredients. Yes, that's right folks, only f-i-v-e ingredients! And if you're wondering exactly what you get for these 5 ingredients - a brownie-custard-cake-awesomeness hybrid that's simply out of this world. Here's the recipe:

"Mom's" Traditional Potato Salad

[ Traditional Potato Salad - that puts store-bought to shame! ]

~ Recipe Adapted From All-American Potato Salad by Cook's Country ~

Potato Salad. Yup. I got a big enough craving that I finally put my foot down and actually took on the traditional potato salad. I put on my big-girl-britches and decided that enough is enough when it comes to that weird yellow store-bought potato salad that makes its frightening appearance at every barbeque. And, even though the last potato salad recipe I published is absolutely delicious (yes, I'm guilting you into reading it --- seriously, go click the link, dooooo itttttt!), this traditional recipe will put every other side dish to shame.

Ok fine. I can't lie to you. I feel you giving me "the eye".... Enough already! The truth is that my dad's birthday is July 3rd. When I asked him what dish he wanted above all others for the birthday pot-luck, guess which one he picked... yup... his mother's potato salad. I don't know if it was a challenge, or if he genuinely didn't like me at that particular moment in time. But after drilling him with a thousand questions about said potato salad, and subsequently googling for similar-sounding recipes, I came across one from Cook's Country (a recipe source with which I'm utterly obsessed) that looked absolutely incredible and strikingly similar to what my dad so longingly described. So with a few tweaks and a couple substitutions, I was able to create a healthier version of "Mom's" potato salad that brought him right back to his childhood. My own personal culinary Delorean. And seriously, if you don't get that reference, you're young - and I'm judging you. Here's the recipe:

Cravable Curry

[ Coconut Peanut Chicken Curry ]

~ Original Recipe ~

Curry. Its delicious awesomeness cannot be summarized in just one word, yet here it is.  In all of its five-letter glory. Curry. So what's with all the mystery in making this dish at home. Well, it's two-fold. First - it stinks. No seriously. The once delicious smell somehow changes into an odoriferous nuisance when the shirt you wore to dinner still smells shockingly like curry a week later. Second - to make it at home, you not only run the risk of Febreezing your entire house, but you also need an inventory of precisely a million obscure ingredients that you can never find at your local grocery store. Sooooo.... what's with the post on this "do not cook at home even if you could somehow find the ingredients" recipe, you ask? I'll tell you.

Making curry dishes at home is within your reach. Now, if you're anything like me, you're going to take one glance at the length of the ingredient list and move on. But honestly - give this recipe a try. Because of the minimal use of curry (which does NOT impact the flavor) you won't stink yourself out of your house. And even better, you're guaranteed to impress yourself while moving one step closer to conquering your ingredient-list-lengthaphobia. What. It's a real fear. The fear of having to work even harder in the kitchen than normal, when you're only motivated to hit the drive through and crack open a cold beverage while doing your best to ensure that the couch stays solidly in place. So here I am, helping you conquer your fears one lengthy ingredient list at a time. (You're welcome.) And there's no better dish with which to start! Did you see that proper grammar usage! I actually typed "and there's no better dish to start with" but the Mr. gives me endless amounts of crap for my grammar so I had to change it. Ok, I digress, here's the recipe:

Hamburger Helped

[ Hamburger Helped! ]

~ Original Recipe ~

Hamburger Helper. You know the stuff - one pan, one pound, one ... packet of "flavoring". And the real mystery? How in the heck it makes such a creamy and awesome dinner! I'll admit, I think Hamburger Helper is genius. It's unbelievably easy to create, and it seems to provide a meal that'll fill the belly without breaking the budget. However, I simply can't bring myself to eat it anymore now that I'm old enough to actually read the package. Half the things in the ingredient list I can't pronounce, and the rest seemed like things that I could walk 7 aisles over and buy in the produce or spice section. So, inevitably, I put the box down and move on with my hamburger-helpless life.

You can imagine my surprise when I was in my kitchen with a pile of random ingredients making a CTC Dinner (Clean-out The Cupboards) that, somehow, ended up tasting EXACTLY like Hamburger Helper! And what's better - I could pronounce every single ingredient without flashing back to the 3rd grade when I had to say all the "big words" out-loud, super slowly, letter by l-e-t-t-e-r, so that I could figure out what seemed to be an unnecessarily fancy word that never even did anything to explain why the cat was actually wearing the hat. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are certain college words that I use just for fun and to express my superiority over others. But it's usually just to mock a super-understanding friend after a few glasses of wine. Oh yah, the recipe - ok so after doing a little happy-dance around my kitchen, I grabbed a pen and paper and jotted down the ingredients so I could try to re-create it. And guess what kids? IT WORKED! Here's the recipe:

Potato Salad, Only Better

[ Easy Grilled Sweet Potato Salad ]

~ Recipe Adapted From Grilled Sweet Potato Salad by Kalyn's Kitchen ~

Potato Salad. Also known as that off-yellow pile of mushy mayonnaise stuff sitting next to your burger at just about every single summertime BBQ. And no matter how many times you try it, somehow this time it will actually taste good. I actually have the same sentiment about waking up and finding I've received a huge promotion which doesn't include any extra work, but adds a number of digits to the left of the decimal on my paycheck. But alas, we are both dreamers.

And since we're both awake, I decided that I could better cope with my lack of life-changing-paycheck-increase if I had some worthwhile potato salad to eat. You can imagine my shock and awe when I went to a girlfriend's house for dinner and she laid down in front of me a bowl of orange awesomeness - see picture above. Ok I said in the intro to this website that I'm not a photographer.... use your imagination to make the colors better. Maybe I could afford a better camera with a little bit larger of a disposable income. Just throwing the idea out there.... So after devouring too much to admit in writing, I asked her for the recipe. And with a few tweaks to the ingredients, this time I can eat the same embarrassing amount without all the extra time at the gym and almost without the food guilt! Here's the recipe:

Easy Scones (yes, really!)

[ Raspberry Basil Scones ]

~ Recipe Adapted From "Strawberry Scones" by She Makes & Bakes ~

Scones. A universally accepted breakfast consisting of an irresistible triangle of crumbly perfection. Their cousins - the doughnut and the breakfast pastry - proudly wear their fat and calories in a deliciously fried, sticky, glazed banner of awesomeness (yes, I'm drooling --- it's like a heroin addiction. I accept this. My name is Allie, and I have the sweet-tooth of a 5-year-old on a perpetual sugar high. But I digress.) Scones, however, prefer a more subtle approach. Their disregard for nutrition is masked by their crumbly texture and their non-fried preparation. But make no mistake, they're full of butter, heavy cream and soul warming, thigh-thickening love. The best part of a scone? How incredibly easy they are to make at home! Yes, that's sarcasm people - scones are some of the most challenging pastries to make properly. Scone-making in my kitchen has resulted in many culinary temper-tantrums and lots and lots of lack-luster triangle-shaped scone imposter thingies that were immediately consumed in an attempt to both drown my sorrows and to hide the evidence of my baking misfortunes. This also results in rationalizing the purchase of store-bought or coffee shop scones costing somewhere around 400 calories (<--- that's FOUR HUNDRED people!) each.

However, being the perpetual can-doer in the kitchen, each time a scone recipe comes across my computer screen I somehow erroneously convince myself that somehow this recipe will miraculously work. So after attempting dozens of scone recipes with minimal success, yet another recipe popped onto my screen. In a fit of optimism (I must have been sleep deprived, heavily caffeinated, or maybe sauced ---- really anything's possible) I gave it one more try and to my shock and awe it actually worked. I tweaked a few things and made a couple of ingredient changes, but after making these delicious triangular breakfast goodies multiple times, I am full confident that I can now stop putting store bought scones into tupperwares in order to pass them off as home-made. What, like you've never done that?! Here's the recipe:

Buffalo Wing Recovery Program

[ Buffalo Chicken ]

~ Original Recipe ~

Buffalo Chicken. Picture this: you're sitting in a bar with a cold beer in your hand and the smell suddenly hits you. That fantastically awesome slightly fried, spicy, tangy smell of the happy-hour order of buffalo wings being delivered to the table next to yours. Those little calorie bombs are an American staple in every bar around the country. No football game is complete without them and no diet is safe from them. And what's always amazed me - how they pack SO many calories and SO much fat into so little meat!!! You can drunkenly eat an entire plate of wings and feel (a little bit sick to your stomach but) no more satisfied than before you started. How is that even possible?

While pondering this question and battling a crippling craving, I decided it was time to come up with a better buffalo "wing" that satisfies both the craving and my (sometimes) insatiable appetite. How? Step 1: more meat! Step 2: same flavors. Step 3: easy. Did I get it right? You be the judge... here's the recipe:

Effortless Oatmeal

[ Overnight Oatmeal - Two Ways! ]

~ Adapted From Multiple Sources ~

Overnight Oatmeal. This meal, also called "Refrigerator Oatmeal", has been trending like crazy online. And like every other trend, there's a million different ways of accomplishing the same thing. So naturally I was dissuaded from trying it. Why? Because for some reason I feel like a total bad-ass when I completely reject whatever is popular - books, movies, recipes, fashion (really it doesn't matter). However, as per usual, I was able to resist my curiosity for about a week before I quietly snuck off to my kitchen and whipped it up "just to see what everyone is talking about." And after rolling my eyes and cursing a little, I was finally able to wash down the oatmeal by swallowing my pride, and admitting that "they" were right... once again... darn it.

So it's oatmeal - what's the big deal, right? The glory of this dish is two-fold. First, it's unbelievably easy and appeals to my lazy side. Having a comfort food recipe with minimal ingredients that can be "made" in something like 90 seconds is just plain awesome. Second, when the weather gets warmer it makes me feel like the 'big guy' is conspiring to discourage me from both cooking and from eating comfort food (it won't work man, give it up!). Even though standing over a stove when you are breaking a sweat sitting on your couch is a cruel joke, I do it anyway. I like food. Period. So thanks to dishes like this, almost all my problems are solved. I said almost. Don't assume. Ok, without further delay - here's how to make it:

Tempted by Tacos

[ Fish Tacos ]

 

 ~ Original Recipe ~

Fish Tacos. The weather is getting warmer, the days are getting longer, and the thought of turning on the oven is somehow becoming one of the most cumbersome things you could imagine doing - aside from the spending 8 hours of each sun-filled day holed up inside an office building. But when the last however many months have been filled with delicious comfort-food casseroles, where does that leave you when it comes to fixing a soul-satisfying and belly-filling dinner? There is only one answer. Fish Tacos. Found on so many menus at a variety of restaurants, these delicious hand-held piles of awesomeness are fresh, filling and satisfying. And since they're predominantly made of just fish, veggies, and tortillas, they're healthy too!

The truth? Hundreds of restaurants have mastered the art of corrupting such an innocently awesome entree. They start by battering and frying the fish, then they pile on the calorically rich additives like full-fat cheese, overly mayo'd sauces, and (for whatever reason) double tortillas. And what does all of that stuff add? Not much more than a few unwanted pounds and another layer of food-guilt. So in a quest for nutritionally reasonable fish taco awesomeness, I created a super simple, absolutely delicious recipe for fish tacos that might just leave you enough calories at the end of your day to have that oh-so-refreshing beverage on the rocks. How? Here's the recipe:

Mac & Cheesier

[ Mac & Cheese ]

~ Original Recipe Inspired By Many Sources ~

Mac & Cheese. A childhood favorite and a survival method for your average college student. At less than $1 per box, it just can't be beat. And hey, it's got calcium (I think) so it must be healthy, right? Don't question it, that sentiment got me through some tough culinary times before I realized that an oven was more than additional storage space. Now, if you're anything like me, you even prided yourself in your ability to make the boxed stuff fancy. You know what I'm talking about... slicing up a hot dog into it. Now that's the stuff that dreams are made of!

But now that I'm an "adult", and have read the back of the box of the average mac & cheese (I didn't go to college for nuthin people!), I just can't bring myself to make that boxed stuff anymore. And while it's awesomely easy, it just doesn't seem to go as far as it used to when it comes to a satisfying and filling dinner. So what's a person to do! By using delicious pasta, real cheese, and a few other everyday ingredients, you can have a quick and easy "from scratch" mac & cheese that will forever put that boxed stuff to shame. Here's the recipe:

Quiero Mexican Pizza

[ Mexican Pizza ]

~ Inspired by this Mexican Pizza recipe from Sandra Lee ~

Mexican Pizza. A delicious dish (made popular by Taco Bell) that consists of some type of meat and bean mixture, sandwiched between two fabulously crunchy fried shells, and topped with a pile of melted cheese. While it's crispy and delicious, one pizza from the popular chain will cost you over 500 calories and over 30 grams of fat and, somehow, within an hour of inhaling it your stomach will be growling. How is that even possible?! Let's break it down...

The typical Mexican Pizza begins with "marbled" (high-fat content) ground meat, refried beans, deep fried shells and a pile of full-fat cheese. And all of these ingredients combine to become a delicious pile of crunchy heaven. If I could eat one as my mid day snack every day I totally would. However, both my daily caloric allotment as well as my internal grown-up voice (which I've been trying to silence for years!) keep that craving in check... to a point. During one my more forceful cravings for both a filling and guilt-free Mexican Pizza, I sought out a way to create my own - a version of the original that will leave you satisfied and full (...for more than an hour). Is your mouth watering yet? Here's the recipe: